Thursday, May 29, 2008

Home Free in Marin

So much has happened since I got back to the States two months ago! I'll try to briefly summarize some highlights.

In April I organized and helped to teach the Dzogchen Spring Retreat at the Dzogchen Retreat Center near Eugene, Oregon. That experience alone could have filled a whole series of posts, but I was too busy during the retreat to write anything.

I returned to California in early May to finish moving out of my home in Marin County as part of my divorce settlement. That whole process has been a huge emotional challenge for my wife and I, but throughout the process we've managed to remain good friends. If not for all the amazing teachings we've had from Rinpoche over the years I think it might have been much harder for us to deal with the divorce process. For all the negative aspects of impermanence in our human relationships, these kind of changes also open doors to new and positive possibilities.

I'm currently still in Marin and am busy doing about a thousand things in preparation for the 6-month Dzogchen Lineage Internship which starts on the 4th of July. I'm sorting through all the possessions I've accumulated from 15 years of living in the same place. I'm purging a lot of unnecessary stuff which feels great. My load is lightening and this should allow me to be more free to travel and teach after the retreat.

I'm also working writing music again and have been learning Logic, Apple's pro-audio software system. I decided to migrate away from Digidesign's ProTools and so far I'm amazed at the power of Logic.

I'm leading a daily Buddha Path Practice at 8AM every weekday in Marin City and also holding some evening Dharma teachings at 7 PM on Friday nights. Khenpo Rinpoche requested that I do some teaching prior to the Internship so I'm fulfilling that aspiration.

I'm currently "home-free" meaning I'm homeless and don't have a fixed home base (other than my tent at the retreat center 550 miles from here in Oregon). Fortunately, friends have stepped in to give me access to floors to sleep on and showers to use, but most nights I've been car-camping, which is quite comfortable in my Honda Element. You just have to find a place that is relatively dark, quiet and private without upsetting someone living nearby or getting chased off by the cops.

My office is my laptop, which is equipped with Sprint Broadband service, so that I can have Internet access from nearly anywhere. I only have to find a coffee shop or fast food restaurant that doesn't mind if I use an electrical outlet for a few hours to work. I have to wear ear plugs to block out the muzak. It's a very nomadic experience and I've gotten to sleep and work in several different cities in Marin. I have also had some first-hand experiences about the stress experienced by those who are living without homes.

I made the "home-free" choice to conserve my funds in preparation for the 6-months of being out of work, but also to get a sense of what it is like for the many Americans who have been displaced from their homes and are couch surfing, living out of their cars, living in tents, or simply staying out on the streets. I think I'm feeling a lot more compassion for people in those circumstances than I was before. I've got a great car to get around with and sleep in. I have a nice storage facility I'm renting to store most of my things. How many homeless people don't even have that? Living with your possessions in a shopping cart has got to be very very stressful.

Roshi Bernard "Bernie" Glassman is a Zen Buddhist master from the NYC region. I met Bernie at a Buddhist Leadership Conference in Vermont last fall. Since 1995 he has been offering retreats where his students could experience homelessness first hand, which he calls "bearing witness." I think he's really quite remarkable, with all the amazing things he's done with his life and all of the people he has helped.

What I'm experiencing is a bit like Bernie's homeless retreats, but I'm not quite living on the streets since I'm protected by my wheels. I'm trying to live a "normal" life with my daily Buddhist practice and still making some kind of a living while not having anywhere to call home other than my various touch points. It's not that easy to deal with, but it is very eye opening.

Well I need to go do a bunch of things to prepare for the teaching tomorrow night so that's all for now.